Awareness came in the dark.
Unchanging, it gave no measure of time between when she realized she existed and when things changed. All she knew was darkness. The darkness made her sleepy with its warmth. She slept a lot.
When she slept, she dreamt in colors.
Mostly, she dreamt in hues of blue, ranging from so light it was almost white to a deep blue that was close to black but not. The blue felt comforting, familiar. It felt almost like herself. She stayed nearest the blue.
Some of the colors appeared in yellows and reds and greens. They felt similar to the blue, but not. She did not feel akin to the other colors. Some were even black, and instinctively she knew the black was dangerous. It seemed darker than the darkness that enveloped her.
The colors all hinted toward something greater, toward other sentient beings full of knowledge, but she could not figure out how to reach the colors to learn more.
Rather than fight or fuss, she instead left herself to drift. Instinctively she knew when something important happened, she would know.
Occasionally muffled somethings would come to her, from elsewhere. With them they brought a sense of movement that was not her moving. Since none of it affected her or changed the darkness that surrounded her, she forgot the distractions quickly. They hardly interrupted her sleep.
Then, all at once everything changed abruptly. Along with a subconscious feeling of change in her surroundings, it became warmer, almost too warm, stifling. The feeling woke her, and she became more aware of sounds and movement invading her surroundings. Something was happening. She knew without knowing how.
It was time to leave.
A voice that spoke directly to her soul called to her.
For the first time since becoming aware, she felt anxious and hurried. She wanted to follow the voice, but she did not know where to find it or how to get there from here.
So she went in the first direction that seemed right.
Her path met resistance soon after. She panicked, her anxiety growing. How would she reach the voice? But the voice remained nearby and its presence calmed her. It continued to call to her.
She fought against the resistance.
With a sharp crack, the resistance gave away a little. The darkness that formed her surroundings tore open, and a small spot of light broke the darkness. It startled her sensitive eyes. The light was new and signified somewhere unknown, and that made it both fascinating and frightening.
The voice coaxing her onward in her mind mingled with a physical voice that uttered a short surprised noise. Somehow, she knew the voice within and the voice without to be the same. It did not really make sense to her, but only her instincts guided her now.
Pushing the rest of the way through the tear proved harder than she expected, and took what seemed a very long time even after her timeless waiting. She eagerly sought the place of the voice calling to her. She longed to end her solitude.
She squawked a note of displeasure at the resisting edge of her somewhere.
The voice came again–a low, soothing purr. She paused her struggle and cocked her head curiously. She hoped the comforting voice would speak again, although she did not know the words. The noise pleased her ears after the silence of the darkness.
Something unknown, something that was not the edges of her dark somewhere, brushed against her. It seemed to be encouraging her. She squawked again, this time softer.
Her struggle renewed; her resistance diminished. Her head and front limbs broke free and this made her think to search out the voice.
She opened her eyes.
The brightness of the new place struck her eyes and offended all her senses after being so long in the darkness. After much blinking and more noises of annoyance she focused on the source of the voice.
The creature before her reminded her of her dreams–a being of blue like the dream-beings which had been like her. Unlike the dream-beings, this creature could be focused on. This creature loomed almost close enough to touch.
It watched her.
She squawked again. This time the noise tried to form a word, a word she had found in her dreams, though it had held no meaning for her in that previous time and where.
“Odassa!” she cried.
The smaller colors had purred the word to the larger ones. It meant something that protected, something… family? Unsure what all these new words meant, though they came to her easily, the images they created in her mind made her feel safe.
Her memories were indeed larger than herself.
The creature that was not a dream-being and not from the darkness blinked in surprise. She realized it had understood. For when she cried out, fully in her mind had been a picture taken from her dreams. The blue creature thought back to her with a word of confirmation, “Mother.” Now she saw the responding thought in the other’s mind–her embraced by the creature.
Then, it did just that, it brought her closer to itself. The being was warm. The warmth and closeness made her sleepy again. She had expended much energy escaping the darkness.
Awkwardly, on limbs that had never supported her before, she left the remnants of her former somewhere. Its darkness now lay split wide open and it already felt removed from her. She felt no more attachment to the darkness, it held no more importance.
This creature had become her focus now.
She climbed her creature’s closest limb–“arm” came into her mind from it. Her muscles became steadier with each step. Then, she stepped to a recessed part below her being’s face–“neck” came to her this time. She added this to her growing knowledge.
A great yawn escaped her. The sleepiness won out over learning more. There would be time later. For now, she knew she was safe, every thought from her creature’s mind reinforced it.
She curled herself around her creature’s neck, pressing as much of her body against the warmth there as she could.
Then, she slept. Only now, the passage of time had become important.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This story was originally published on Awaiting the Muse, on January 22nd, 2013. All rights reserved.
Awaiting the Muse by Jamie Roman AKA Effraeti is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at https://awaitingthemuse.wordpress.com/
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